What My Neighbour’s Cat Taught Me About Communication
What My Neighbour’s Cat Taught Me About Communication
by: Marie-Claire Ross Igor is a large, muscly Russian Blue cat that loves to sleep for most of the day, get scratched under his neck and play a short game of string (has to be short – or else he falls asleep). When our neighbours are away at work, he likes to visit us and sleep in our front garden. Occasionally, he likes to grace us with his presence inside our place. To ensure we look after him in the way he is accustomed to at home, he communicates clearly and consistently about what he requires. Being the laidback cat that he is, he is not into wasting words (or meows). He always has one demand at a time and will keep at his request until we obey. We have learnt that a meow can signal any of the following: “cuddle me”, let’s play with string”, ”feed me”, “let me out now!” or “can I come in?” He supplements his meows with appropriate body language that always make it clear which of these needs must be met. When he wants a cuddle he will climb up your leg meowing and when he wants to play with string he meows then lightly paws at the stationary yarn. He will also look you right into the eyes when he wants something. His method of communication is very simple, yet extremely effective. He has managed to teach us very quickly what he wants and his approach is always the same. And when all else fails and we appear to be ignoring him, he tears down our hallway making so much noise that we always get up to see what he wants. We can all learn from Igor’s direct approach. His method can be used in any area of life where a message needs to be communicated: from telling your boss that you need a holiday to telling customers the benefits of your products. In our field of creating successful promotional and training videos, Igor has reinforced to us why our videos are so good at getting a message across. This communication medium works because it: - Clearly conveys one message at a time
- Uses visual cues to supplement the desired message
- Repeats the message a few times
- Adds interesting visual effects to grab attention.
So the next time you have an important message to convey, make sure you do the following: - Communicate one message at a time
- Look people right into their eyes
- Use appropriate body language
- Do not give up/repeat your message
- Go for shameless attention-grabbing techniques if needed (optional).
Of course, Igor’s tactic only works when people take the time to find out what he wants. Which is why you should always try to get your message across to the right target audience. But despite Igor’s excellent communication skills, there’s one thing that we just don’t understand. He likes to put his right paw on our face and hold our head still, while he delicately sucks our nose! Think we better ask his parents about that one.
Top Ten Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills
Top Ten Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills
by: Dr. Dorene Lehavi 1) Listen without judgment. The key to good communication is listening well. Save your judging for later after you have heard and understood what was said. 2) Listen with the willingness to be swayed to the other person's opinion. No obligation to actually being swayed, but stay open to the option. 3) Listen without thinking about what you will say next. Take time before you respond. 4) Do not be invested in being right. Being right is not the point. If you must be right, you are not able to listen nor communicate because you have set up a barrier already. If you are always right that means the other person is always wrong. That cannot be true. 5) If your mind wanders, ask for repetition. We all are subject to distraction. Try to stay focused. 6) In all cases repeat back what you heard and ask if it is correct. 7) Listen to yourself. Find quiet moments and pay attention to what you are hearing from yourself. Does your body tighten up about certain issues. Body language is not something to read only in other people. 8) Say it honestly, but with consideration for the listener's feelings. Be polite, respectful and sincere. 9) Understand and acknowledge that most things are not black or white, but somewhere in a gray area. Get comfortable with gray. 10) Have integrity and build trust. Don't say what you don't mean. Don't promise what you won't or can't fulfill. Follow through with any committments you make. Good listening skills take practice. Specific coaching may be necessary if you find you have communication issues with your boss, collegues, subordinates, partners or personal relationships.
Making Communication Effective: 4 Language Filters
Making Communication Effective: 4 Language Filters
by: Steve Brunkhorst Language is a challenging way to communicate. It allows us to share our thoughts and feelings by describing our personal views of reality. Yet language is not reality. It is merely a limited system of symbols, signals, sounds, or gestures that belong to a specific culture or group. It only describes a personal map of the actual territory. We might have a great message to share. Yet there are other important factors to consider if we want to make our communication effective. In addition to the content of our messages, language conveys feelings. Our voices are colored with emotion and attitude. Add the subtle nuances of pitch and loudness, intonation, rate, facial expression and posture. Now we have a complex pattern of behavior with the power to influence our listeners. Without those additional nuances available in writing, the selection of words and sentences must do all the work. They must be chosen carefully. Whether our messages are spoken or written, the job is still unfinished. Our language must pass through the filters of emotion, culture, situational context, and personal beliefs. These filters will influence the listener’s perception and interpretation of our message resulting in either acceptance or rejection of our ideas. 1. Emotion: Our listeners may be joyful, anxious, upset, expectant, excited, or in any emotional state. Their emotional state will influence their reaction to our message. An upset individual will not be ready to receive new ideas. On the other hand, someone who is looking forward to hearing what we have to say will accept our ideas if we present them well. 2. Culture: An individual’s personal history, country of origin and upbringing will influence their worldview. Their language may not contain words and concepts that ours does. These people will interpret our messages differently than someone with our own background. They may not understand many of our views. When formulating our messages, we must take care to respect cultures, customs, and histories that are different from our own. 3. Situational Context: What the listener has recently experienced as well as environmental factors will also influence the way he or she receives our messages. Unlike emotions, situational context involves elements that are external to the listener. This includes our own presentation of the message. What we said previously and how we said it will influence the listener’s perception of what we say next. A room that is too noisy, dark, cold, or uncomfortable will distract the listener’s attention. 4. Personal Beliefs: We filter everything we hear through our personal beliefs. We relate everything we experience to previous experiences. If we understand an idea or concept, it is because we are relating it to our past learning. It is rare that we actually have a completely new experience. We have core beliefs about our lives; these personal maps of the world guide the way we listen, perceive, and interpret what we hear. Our messages will be influenced significantly by our listener’s personal beliefs. We need to select our words carefully, and craft our presentations so that they will touch our listeners on a deeper emotional level. It is at this deeper emotional level where the most effective communication is achieved. Well-chosen language can touch the heart and soul, find a common ground, tear down walls of division, and foster powerful new alliances. It can be an extremely powerful success tool. Language that ignores the listener's emotional state, culture, current life situations, and personal beliefs will miss its mark. Instead of building trust, it will distance us from those who could become friends and allies. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Eloquence is the power to translate a truth into language perfectly intelligible to the person to whom you speak." Choosing our messages carefully, and remembering these language filters will help us develop that eloquence, and will make our communications more effective. We will obtain improved results in both our careers and personal lives by engendering trust, building rapport, and creating positive new relationships.
